Mr. Marcus: Talk Like Sex… Porn Star Sex

Originally posted at The Well Versed

If you’re into porn, Mr. Marcus is a man that needs no introduction. After more than a decade in the game and hundreds of films to his credit, the 40-year-old is one of the industries cross over performers. Don’t believe us? In 2009, he was inducted into the Adult Video News Hall of Fame. Not bad for an industry notorious for overlooking black performers.

These days, he’s added another title to his resume: author. This summer, Mr. Marcus released “The Porn Star Guide to Great Sex.” Part personal story, part instruction manual, the 200-plus page book offers everything from advice on everything from going down to talking to your partner about all things sex related.

TWV caught up with Mr. Marcus to talk about the new book, how to turn a shy girl into a super freak and why a condom isn’t always the best form of protection.

The Well Versed: There have been a lot of books written by porn stars. Everything from memoirs to how to guides. Why’d you decide to mix the two together?

Mr. Marcus: I don’t think there have been [a lot of how to guides]. When I looked at how to guides, they were written by doctors and females; they were real clinical. I was always getting approached by people in the streets and I didn’t have answers for them. So I tried my best to answer those questions.

TWV: In the forward to the book, Nina Hartley says that you’re the guy who never forgets that sex is supposed to be fun. After fifteen years, what keeps it fun for you?

MM: There’s always a revolving door of talent. The ideas, the concepts, the people…I know the benefits of what I do. For me, not doing movies is like an artist not writing songs. I have fans and I know they’re going to like it. The key to my success is to enjoy what I’m doing. I need to take a break like everybody else at times and step back.

TWV: A lot of the topics you talk about aren’t related to the physical aspect of sex. Do you think that too many of us men forget about the things that lead up to sex?

MM: Yeah. We all let ourselves go. I’m not pointing fingers, everybody has different body shapes, but I think you have a choice in your diet and maintaining your health. That’s an individual responsibility. If your significant other accepts you for who you are, be that. People have a tendency to find themselves unattractive but that’s probably because they’ve changed and become unappealing. I try to promote dieting and reminding yourself what attracted you to [your partner] in the first place. Men always need to remind their women that they’re the best things that happened to us. We need to put in that effort to make them feel special.

TWV: Why is that mental aspect so important?

MM: The world is cruel and women are competitive [laughs]. Some days they feel like Wonder Woman, some days they feel unattractive. I feel like this: if you get a bitch around you, she’ll make everybody else feel like a bitch and bring everybody down. My thing is to always try to make the bitch feel better. I think that women effect men in such a way; I’m one of those guys that want to make them feel better in the long run. That’s why it’s important.

TWV: You touch on a few things in the book—anal sex, rimming, and BDSM—that are taboo in the black community. Were you worried or did you feel like this was an opportunity to break barriers and get us talking?

MM: You hit the nail on the head. This is an opportunity to create this type of discussion. I’m giving people the information to talk about it with some background. I want people to be knowledgeable. You want to try to get things out there that are swept under the rug. Some people are comfortable, some aren’t. The book is written for people who are both experienced and novice and naïve. I’ve met the super whore and I’ve met the real timid virgin. There’s not much difference to be honest with you.

TWV: How so?

MM: They can go either way.

TWV: So the same woman can or has occupied both of roles?

MM: Women have the ability. They’re designed that way. We’re designed that way. As a man, you can be as innocent as ever and the wind blows and you get an erection. For a woman, all of a sudden she gets wet and her nipples get erect. We’re designed to do that. We respond to arousal. That’s where I come in. I’m that guy.

TWV: I gotta ask this next one for the guys. How do you get the timid virgin to go from that to super whore?

MM: Most women don’t want to be judged. I’ve met women who were super freaky and when I acknowledged it, they took offense. Like how dare I? My thing with women, I try to bring it down a notch when I discuss sex. If they feel like you’re going to judge them… to bring that virgin into the freak territory, you almost have to show her that it’s okay. Look at me I’m going in first, you can follow.

TWV: So now people have permission?

MM: Now I can be a freak. I think it’s a very true thing, it’s our nature. I’ve been fooled. I’ve had girls come in and say, “I’ve never sucked dick before” and they do it like they’re sucking a golf ball through a water hose.

It’s a case by case basis. Know what you’re dealing with, make her feel comfortable. And if she’s too nice for you, get somebody else. What I learned is: if she’s not right for you, she might be right for somebody else, so get out of the way.

TWV: You touch on rough sex and rape fantasies as well, why do you think it’s so difficult for people to get past the fact that these depictions [on camera] aren’t real and they’re consensual?

MM: there are people that this has really happened to and you can’t act like it doesn’t exist. Porn has always been pointed at as being the cause. It’s unfortunate because it may not be true. Some people may have a predisposed nature towards violence. Porn is film. People have to sign releases, they’re getting paid, they’re being protected and they’re consenting.

TWV: You also have a chapter on HIV, STDs and safe sex practices. That’s something I don’t see in a lot of books. And our people tend to have higher rates of infection. Is safety something you always wanted to touch on?

MM: That’s a great question because it’s something I talk about a lot. A lot of people on the streets ask me, “What about HIV? Do you get tested?” I use that as an opportunity to educate them on our industry and how we protect ourselves. I think I made it pretty clear when I discussed that, it was totally different from the rest of the book. Maybe you should know your status. What’s wrong with adults talking about this? I thought this was a perfect example; we’re a bunch of adults fucking each other. We should get tested.

TWV: There’s some research out there that says a lot of women have difficulties talking to their men about safe sex practices. What advice would you give them?

MM: In third world countries they say a lot of women have to submit to men; that they’re obligated and have no say. Here, we have a lot more education about sexual health and we don’t’ practice it. I’m not going to tell everybody to use a condom; I know condoms break, I know condoms come off.

I always tell people to get an HIV test. To perform as well with the condom as you can without one, you have to experiment. Put the lube on the inside and the outside of the condom. Make sure when you put it on the air comes out, hold it at the base. Have her use her mouth. Use different types of condoms; latex or sheep skin. Try to communicate that. Try to find the one that transfers heat, it’s the sensation you’re looking for. When we talk about condoms, we encourage them. I’m not in people’s bedrooms but if you’re going to do it, use a condom. If not get tested. If you’re smart do both.

TWV: There was an HIV scare a few years ago with Darren James and another performer. Do any of those things give you pause or did you feel like it was time to hang it up?

MM: I went through that period where I thought I should stop. Darren was a friend of mine. I went through this period where I was paranoid that I’d get into a car accident, I felt like a car would just come over the guard rail. I don’t think you can live in fear and be scared. You have to realize things will happen and you do your best to protect yourself.

More than anything I felt like they wanted you to quit. They exploited the guy so bad. I think we just need to educate ourselves. He was one of many people. In California [if you catch HIV] you’re given a number and your identity is kept confidential. He was made to be an example of. That doesn’t mean we should all stop, that just means we should be better educated about what we’re doing.

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2 thoughts on “Mr. Marcus: Talk Like Sex… Porn Star Sex

  1. Pingback: The Pedagogy of P0rn0graphy: The Introduction « Intellectual Property

  2. Pingback: [Opinion] The Real Shame Behind Mr. Marcus’ Altered STD Test « Intellectual Property

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