Originally posted at The Well Versed
“Yo, when it come to sex advice, I’m the one to call if you a virgin with blue balls or you tear down walls…”
Eleven years ago, Nas got his Dr. Ruth on with the sleeper track from I Am, “Dr. Knockboot.” The short, hook-less track finds Mr. Jones waxing poetic on “the do’s and don’ts that should happen in the bed.” TWV decided to break down the words of wisdom from the Son of Olu Dara to see how relevant they are for the ’10 spot.
DON’T: Run up in her raw cause you get burned for sure, f*ckin with the typical whore
You don’t have to take a visit to the track to come home with something new. In 2008, the Centers for Disease Control estimated that there are 19 million STD infection each years (yes, that’s million with an “M”). The downside to this grim statistic: CDC numbers only account for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis. More sobering, more than half of these infection are in people ages 15-24, with health care costs from STD infections totaling $15.9 billion annually. Simply put, a pack of condoms cost less than a trip to the clinic. And you’ll have a better time putting the latex to good use.
DO: Rock a Rough Ryder, whenever you’re inside her, your local bodega is your supplier
Do they still make Rough Ryder condoms? Nonetheless, rock something. Too embarrassed to get your prophylactics in person? Hit the Internet, where you’ll find a wide selection of condoms—from latex to polyurethane—that can be shipped direct to your door. Most sites come complete with user reviews of each product. You don’t even have to leave the house to be safe anymore. Now that’s convenience.
DON’T: Take the p*ssy, if she fighting, cause you saw what happened to Tupac and Mike Tyson
Both the late Tupac and Tyson denied ever committing any act of wrong doing. But rape charges—real or fabricated—are nothing to eff with. Don’t believe us? Ask the ex-marine getting ready to do five life sentences.
DO: Get a yes confirmation before penetration
What Nas failed to tell you was that in some cases, even a “yes” isn’t enough to keep the cold steel of the cuffs from grazing your wrists. The law says an intoxicated person cannot give consent. Lesson of the day: a few shots invalidate the “yes” you might receive.
DON’T: Get with no young b*tch and hit it, she PG-13, you rated R, she not permitted
Statutory rape is any sexual encounter in which a person over the age of consent engages in activity with someone under the age of consent. Here’s the tricky part: the age of consent varies from state-to-state but is typically between the ages of 16-18. Some states offer provisions for teens (Connecticut, for example says teens under 16 can only consent to sexual activity to those no more than two years older). Statutory rape is serious business and can land one in prison anywhere from six months to life.
DO: Check for ID, whenever chillin V.I.P. with fly shorty P.Y.T.
Ignorance is not a commonly accepted defense. If fly shorty P.Y.T. is rocking a fake ID, you’re still likely to face the wrath of the system. Opt for the birth certificate.
DON’T: Lie about the cars you got or who you hang with, frontin when you borrowed your watch
Most rappers are rocking rented jewelry. Nuff said.
DO: Play your game right, if the G’s tight then you can f*ck shorty the same night
It’s no longer 1991, but look who’s burning: Blacks, Hispanics and Native Americans all have disproportionately high rates of infection.
DON’T: Eat the p*ssy the first night, make her bless you, we call that s*it gesundheit
Remember those earlier stats about STDs and condom use? Toss all that out the window if you’re not using protection during oral sex. Ladies, grab an non-lubricated or flavored condom to save yourself from unfamiliar fluids. Fellas, should you decide to break the rule, grab a dental dam. “You can thank me now.” © Drake
DO: Set the mood right, Bailey’s with ice, a cup of Thug Passion will make everything right
We already discussed intoxication and consent. Moving along.
DON’T: Pop s*it like you Daddy Longdick when you come fast like Fed-Ex and bust too quick.
We clown the one minute man, but premature ejaculation is real. Fortunately, there are some tips and tricks to prevent the Fed-Ex overnight delivery.
DO: Hit positions she will find interesting
There are literally hundreds of sex positions. Surely, a lack of creativity can be fixed with a trip to the bookstore.
DON’T: Hit the pussy if that s*it’s blistering
Genital herpes (or Herpes Simplex 2)—like HIV—is a virus that causes individual or clusters of blisters on the genitals of the infected person. As unsightly as an outbreak can be, this STD is common in the United States. The CDC estimates that 1 in 6 people has genital herpes (1 in 4 women). Unfortunately, Nas left out one thing: you can still catch genital herpes if your partner has no symptoms.
Is Nas still on point for the ’10? Any new rules for Dr. Knockboot? Let’s discuss.